Guide To Writing Wedding Vows

Writing wedding vows, oh my. This was one of the most daunting tasks I ran into while planning my own wedding. Not because I wasn’t thoroughly excited about them, but because of the sheer significance of them. Vows are the most important part of a wedding ceremony, after “I dos”, of course. And should be taken seriously.

But it was overwhelming and felt like so much pressure to create the perfect vows. Am I right? So, I wanted to share a few pieces of advice as a former bride and longtime wedding photographer (who has witnessed a lot of weddings and heard a lot of vows over the years). Without further ado, here’s my quick guide to writing wedding vows. I hope this helps to get your creative vow juices flowing!

How To Prepare To Write Wedding Vows

What I love about vows is that they are custom to every couple; no love is the exact same – and therefore, no vows should be the exact same. Before you write anything, have a frank discussion with your partner. What are their expectations for the wedding vows? Will you both quote verses of religious text? Is your partner okay with some silliness, or would they prefer things to be more sincere? These vows are about you, together. Setting expectations will help both of you get direction.

In all the busyness of wedding planning, I highly recommend that you not save your wedding vows for the last minute. Write them ahead of time (preferably 1-2 months in advance), so that you can re-read, review, and edit them over at least a few weeks’ time. 

Tips For Getting Started With Your Vows

Start by brainstorming the answers to questions like: What do I love about our relationship? What makes our love unique? Why do I want to marry this person? What do I see in our future? How will we continue to navigate conflicts? What commitments can I make to help us grow closer and stronger as a team?

(Your wedding vows should match the nature of your relationship, but try and avoid speaking about too personal or private of experiences between you and your partner, and instead stick to just a few inside jokes. If you want to get really personal – maybe exchange those privately before the ceremony or in a love letter delivered to them earlier that day.)

Your vows should use language like “I promise,” “I vow,” “I pledge” and “I will always.” Don’t feel like you have to be overly formal. It’s best to write in a way that is natural to you.

Guide To Writing Wedding Vows

Start your vows by addressing your partner by name. State their relationship to you. (Best friend? Soulmate? Your lobster?) Then, follow the format of past, present, and future. 

Start with the past. Talk about your first impressions. What type of romance you’ve had so far? Highlight the things that made you fall in love in the first place. What are qualities that attracted you to them? How did they make you feel? The moment you knew they were the one.

Then, make your promises in the present. What do you pledge to your partner today? What roles will you fulfill for them? How will you continue to show up for them and for your relationship?

Finish by expressing what you hope for the future. What expectations have you created for your future together? Will you grow old and expand your family together? What does that future between the two of you look or feel like? Include any official vows from your religion here as well.

Get Ready For The Moment

The most important part of your vows is your unique touch! Get excited to share this incredible moment with your partner as you make promises that will shape the nature of your love and relationship together for the rest of your life!

There you have it! My quick guide to writing wedding vows! I’d love to know how your vows turned out! Share your experience by commenting below. If you’re ready to book your wedding photographer in Dallas Fort Worth TX, please reach out! I’d love to be a part of your dream day!